Are some of these your experiences?
- Have you experienced the intentional severing of the relationship with one or more of your adult children (not force by military service or job location)?
- Do you find the estrangement from your adult child(ren) to be emotionally painful, and similar in intensity to other traumatic events, even death?
- Does the trauma of the estrangement spill over into other areas and impact your marriage, friendships, health, and positive engagement with life?
- Are you developing characteristics of those overcome by an addiction, unable to free yourself from emotions and behaviors that are making your life unmanageable?
- Have you begun to view your life from the standpoint of a victim? Have you become a reactor to your adult children rather than an actor who takes responsibility for creating your own healthy lifestyle?
- Do you struggle to understand the reasons for the estrangement?
- Even if you have an understanding of the issues, have efforts at resolving them failed?
- Do you find yourself overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, unable to discern where the responsibility for your failures end and your adult children’s responsibilities for the estrangement begin?
- Does the estrangement from your adult children (and grandchildren) create a disconnect between yourself and other parents who appear to have relatively healthy relationships with their adult children?
- Have you found there are relatively few resources for estrangement parents, and that traditional resources such as clergy, physicians, and counselors seem to have a limited understanding of the problem?
What People Are Saying
PEAK provided me an outlet for venting my feelings of separation from my estranged daughter and became a vehicle for transporting me to a new reality where I was able to better take control of my future. The PEAK readings were particularly helpful and the group sharing allowed me the freedom to alleviate much of the pain that I was living with. Thank you for my new outlook. mpcr
Great comfort is to be found in sharing with people in anguish over parent-child estrangement. After 2 years of being “shunned” by our daughter, I have gotten some insights and understandings about what seemingly seems to be an increasing issue within some families. From PEAK, I have found acceptance, empathy, coping-mechanisms and less isolation. PEAK addresses the parental heartbreak and eases the subsequent emotional, mental and physical distress through the group meetings and book readings. Parental estrangement should no longer be stigmatized and kept silent. We need to share and help each other….PEAK affords this opportunity. No words can express my gratitude for the PEAK program and to my group. deebee
I found PEAK by accident when looking online to start participating in my life again while looking for classes for seniors. Being shy plus isolated I enrolled and went to my first meeting. The camaraderie, nonjudgmental attitudes, and love has started my journey of reclaiming my life. -Dee
A painful, mysterious, and isolating condition is flooded with light by PEAK. Now I can see a path. Peter
When I discovered PEAK, I was really suffering with estrangement from my brother and two step-daughters. It was a relief to be in the group and admit this without fearing judgement! And the book is superb. It is a straightforward guide to understanding estrangement AND improving life despite it. I highly recommend this book to anyone with any estrangements. Karen Eve
‘Even as a counselor, I was unsure of how to help others struggling with estrangements. This book PEAK helped me understand the problems and how to support adults dealing with this. I highly recommend reading PEAK. KEBP-
I wanted to express my gratitude to all of you. I loved the connection I experienced with each of you. It’s very important for me to have that connection since the one with my daughter is limited. Gratitude from the bottom of my heart to Fe Anam and Shawn for moving PEAK into the world! Fe’s book is awesome and informative too! Kathryn
I just want you to know that the two times I attended your class were life changing for me. It helped me to see my problem with my daughter on a continuum. My problem wasn’t near as Bad as many of the others, and it helped to see that. It also helped to hear the stories and Realize some of the commonalities…like not knowing for sure what the problem was/is.
As a result of the group and your well-written book, I realized that I was OK as a person and parent. Your prayer helped so much. And I was finally able to go into the company of my daughter with no expectations to resolve anything, but merely to just be present. It really made a difference and I have shared your wisdom with another friend who was also helped by your book and wisdom.
Thank you for your courage in telling your truth in order to help parents like me!!! Anonymous\
After silently suffering the estrangement of one of my daughters, I found the PEAK group and learned others, some of whom I knew, were suffering with the same problem as I. The PEAK book taught me what I had not figured out by myself, and my relationship with my daughter is on the mend! Anonymous
Your book study, Parents of Estranged Adult Children (PEAK) both touched and healed nerves that have throbbed for decades. For many, being estranged from our children is a hurt of the deepest order and profound confusion. We feel baffled, helpless, angry, and heartbroken, all at the same time.
Over the course of the study, scales were lifted, paths were explored, decisions were made, and peace was tasted, more than once. Participants felt like new shoots breaking through the surface of a crusted-over earth and, as the air smells sweet during a Spring rain, the new perspectives and friendships from the Group started their natural process of nourishing and renewing everyone’s spirits as the fresh new growth of a path to fulfillment emerged. Each week, by choosing a ‘Focal Point’ which highlighted a specific path toward healing, noticeable progress was realized. Thank you! Anonymous
The PEAK class has been most appreciated. One of the best things the church has done to help me personally since joining the congregation! As with all support groups, it takes some courage to admit one has a need. Then it takes commitment to do the reading and soul-searching to participate on a regular basis. As with anything else that is worthwhile in life, it takes some dedication and earnest study to reap benefits.
A few PEAK “pearls”: parents are more attached to children than children are to parents through grace and forgiveness, we can stop searching for what we should have done as parents I decided to participate in PEAK because of my professional work as a geriatric care manager along with a personal interest in the topic. Often, I must deal with estranged relationships among family members when a senior loved one needs assistance. I try earnestly to re-establish, maintain, or improve those dynamics because this is crucial for a positive outcome. As PEAK materials relate, financial, emotional, psychological and spiritual wellness becomes compromised when relationship problems remain in limbo. Anonymous
Our mission is to companion estranged parents of adult kids through a program that offers healing while enhancing their lives.
PEAK is focused on the development and expansion of a recovery movement. The core of the movement is a standardized set of open and closed group experiences. These group experiences are carefully designed to support parents who find themselves estranged from their adult children, either because one or more of their children has made the decision to withdraw from the relationship or because the parent has found it necessary to establish a boundary that the adult child has declined to honor.
While a healthy re-connection is always the preferred outcome, the immediate goal of PEAK is to help parents move toward acceptance of the relationship between themselves and their estranged children. Nonetheless, we celebrate every healthy reconciliation that may occur during the PEAK recovery process.
PEAK is not an appropriate resource for estranged adult children who have legitimate needs that are distinct from those of their parents, and require different resources.